he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
