It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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