I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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