Got a toothbrush?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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