Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
