I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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