I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
