My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Randomize
