my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize