hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
