i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
