Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
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I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
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I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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