When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
