I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
