Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
