no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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