...so i touched it.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
