i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You ate ashes out of my bong
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
