why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
