people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize