If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
