I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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