people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
