Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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