I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize