i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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