You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I love black thongs
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
