Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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