He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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