I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
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