I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
