i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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