im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize