Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
