Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
