So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
