btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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