I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
