there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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