Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just found puke in my bra..
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Even my vagina gasped.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
