Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
