I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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