we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
