quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
