smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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