my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
