Duck Duck Cougar?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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