3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize