Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Your dad touched me again.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
