I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
It's just like the Real World with babies
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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