i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
