Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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