i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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