i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
