What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize