Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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