we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
