It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
