high people should be assigned attendants
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
