the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
